abhi boht phat rahi hai..aisa pehle kabhi ni hua :/

Acha laga!

It was my 1st major achievement till date for this company..a collection of 11.28 crores from a customer..really a big amount it is!! Nobody gets this much amount in one-go in the dept, generally.
It feels good when somebody accolades you for the effort that you put into something, especially then, when nobody else wanted to do this same thing because it happens to be a real tough task.
But it really feels bad when you dont find your boss among the ppl who appreciate the work and still you become the victim of the departmental politics, may be coz you ain't one of them, or may be coz you cant talk to them in their mother tongue, or may be coz you dont go to eat with them during lunch hours, or may be some other shit reason, as if i care!
Anyways, 11.28 is in, approx 5 more is supposed to come in this week.
Acha laga! :)

Taken Away.

Our lives begin to end the moment we become silent about things that matter.

- Robin Sharma

The moment I read this statement, I felt myself taken away from normality to abnormality.
This silence has more or less, engulfed me into it. It is undoubtedly hurting me a lot. And I want to break this. But how? As everyday passes, I feel more guilty of not doing this, and less than more guilty, of what I've already done.

Karm Yogi?

What is yours today, belonged to someone else yesterday, and will belong to someone else the day after tmrw. You are mistakenly enjoying the thought that this is yours. It is this false happiness that is the cause of your sorrows.

-- Bhagvad Geeta

Hmmm.

An Insight!

She asked me to speak out first 20 words which came into my mind after her request. She did this with them. Here they are, not arranged in places..quite similar to a jigsaw puzzle. Kya kuch chal raha hota hai aajkal..hunh!
An insight!

Red!

i've started liking 'red'.
what's happening to me? :O

Toh ab kya karein?

1. For the past 8 months, i've been asking ppl in my office to keep me busy with some work and dont make me sit ideal. One day, after I pestered him a lot, my boss said to me, "I've a lot of work to get done, but i'm unable to allocate it to you."
2. In this period, every work that i got, i tried to finish it asap, so that mujhe sakaari offices mein kaam pending karne ki habit na lag jaaye.
3. Games were played, and i was sent to Bengal, to get some work done coz nobody else wanted to do it, and i was the last bakra left. i didn't refuse, completed the work in 7 working days and returned. everyone was shocked to see me returned to the office so pretty soon.
4. Still, i heard from somebody, "You should remain committed to work."
5. And that, "Management thinks that you do not work."
6. Things got worse, and I heard that I'm getting my tranfer order..to another department, which is more of like a hell.
7. Politics. It is being played in huge amounts with me these days. Everybody seems to be doing something unfavourable to me.

I've been a silent worker all my life. And if i know the work, I try to finish it in the least possible time, and in the best effective way, results of which have always been good. I should not have written the last line, but whatever happened, the results came out to be totally in the opposite direction to the one, in which they were expected to come.

In such a situation, what should I do?
I should work as always, and still if they keep playing games, I should say to them, bhaad mein jaao saare ke saare! I don't care!

Accidentoholic me.

I'm really pissed off with you boss! Kya kare ja rahe ho aap mere saath? Poori ki poori series of accidents hi bana ke rakh di hai aapne toh! You started doing all this when i was in Chandigarh. Then you continued this in Ghaziabad and Hyderabad. Earlier i'd a count over this, but now i've really lost it..coz now, i'm completely out of track..coz aap toh itne chipkoo aur badtameez ho ki peecha hi ni chhodte!

Bhaijaan, chaahte kya ho yaar? Already i'm tired of fighting with the things that have happened in my recent past. Aise time mein hi kyun aaye ho meri lene ke liye? :O

Aapko mujhe injury deni hai, toh de do. Ya fir permanently maarna hai, toh maar daalo. Shayad after doin this, aapki aatma ko shaanti aayegi and you'd come as a successful person in your intentions. Shayad once when something like this would happen, then only i'll get rid of you. Toh fir kuch karo na!

I wish i had not defeated you those two times, when you came so close to hurting me..just a matter of few seconds those were..phew! Kam se kam peecha toh chhoot jaata!

Or if you are just playing games with me, I've a better suggestion for you..i give you an option of taking this as a request, please stop stalking me! Coz ab really boht ho chuka hai..i've some other serious issues as well to encounter..matlab seriously, mujhe poora ka poora accidentoholic bana ke rakh diya hai in these last few weeks.

Or give me one last chance..aisi paadunga na, you'd forget to come to my place for a long time. Hunh! Come, lets fight and finish this..either from ur side, or from mine..in any case, i shall be the victorious! Good luck!

Main shayad nai badla.

"Ek din yeh sab kuch ni rehna. Sab apne apne raste nikal jayenge! Duniya de jhamele, naukri dhoondho, paise kamaao, ghar basaao, te life de ishaaron pe nachte jaao. College de gate de is tarah hum lyf ko nachaate hain, te dooji tarah lyf humko nachaati hai." - DJ, from RDB.

Very true!
Almost ek year hone waala hai..I'd moved on a long time back. I'd left all those sentiyaape boht der pehle..that sentiyaapa was taken over by sadness of life, of living alone, of having no work but still earning a lot of money, and pata nai kya kya. Sometimes i wonder, "Why am i alive? For whom?"

Kal main college ko leke fir se senti ho gaya. There are still some people left, not great in numbers now, jinse duur hone ka mann ni karta. Kal use bye kehte time i realized ki mujhse abhi bhi bye ni bola jaata.

Aadmi ka basic character kabhi change ni hota. Main shayad nai badla..kahin kho gaya hoon bas.

-- Hulchul Senti.

I never felt this much bored in college.
I came at a very wrong time.
I don't want to come back to this place again.

2 days se bas ye hi mere mind pe hai.
:|

Random thoughts at 12.36 AM

I’m going to leave hyderabad on the evening of 10^th, the day after tomorrow. I’ll return on 2^nd may. Its been almost 100 days since the last time I came to this place from home. Nd since then, I was waiting for this month to come. It is this ‘Customer Focus Training’, which I’d be going for!

For the last 20 days (excluding today), I’d been planning of visiting PEC and NCR. Wahaan pe log rehte hain! Log, jinhe I know! Log, who know me!

But suddenly something happened. NCR ka toh abhi kuch pata hi nai. Meri PEC jaane mein phat rahi hai. I don’t know why! Would I find the same benehomie as before?  That adrenaline again? Would I be able to connect with them? Would I like the clock to stop doing tick-tick-tick this time? What would I talk to them? Is anything there, which I'd be enjoying while having conversation with them? Or vice-versa? These are few of the questions which have completely overtaken my mind.

I don’t know the answer. I don’t even know why I’m thinking like this.

They say, stop thinking. But how? Is that possible to control the brain not to think about such things?

Is it? Really?

A lot would be happening in the coming month.

Rodeja ki intern would have reached to a new level. Chopda Switzerland ke tour ke baad fresh ekdum! Hakeem ka mind never stops working. Videsh mein rehne waale logon ki lives mein, jo sad hue pade hain, i wish fir se colors aa jaaye! Raine, help me! Swami ka solitude I wish jaldi end ho jaaye. Jinki calls aayi thi, I wish convert ho jaaye. Jo log pareshan hain, khatam kar do unki pareshaaniyan, Bhagwaan! Aur jo log forcefully khush rehne ki fight maarte hain, unhe natural khushi de dijiye! Wo boht hi pyaare log hain!!

Kuch bhi likh diya..as always.

This blog has become a scrap now. I've become tired of writing sad posts. It might be the beginning of the end of this blog.

No title.

I was at zero.

Somebody came and gave me one news. That news made me finding myself moving on the positive side of the number line.
I could not believe that was true! I’d some apprehensions.

After sometime, I confirmed the fears which I had. Since I’m jinxed, they came out to be true. Then I found myself crossing the zero figure and heading towards the greater negative side of the number line.

It gave a boost to my belief that happiness and sadness go hand in hand.

Ab toh khush hone se bhi darr lagta hai.

PS: the news was related to my transfer to New Delhi. Main kab se wait kar raha hoon iska. One opportunity seemed to be coming, but meri gali nahi, kisi aur ki. Ab pta ni kab aayegi. :S

A request!

Warning: Read at your own risk!

I've been hearing this from many people these days that I'm a very good person etc etc. This post would hopefully help you somewhat:

In small places like my hometown, a person who consumes alcohol is treated as if he has done one of the biggest crime of this world. Of course, there can be many other activities too, apart from just drinking. And in such a condition, a boy’s parents are also seen as culprits. So the reputation is always at stack. Since the society at such a place takes a lot of interest into other peoples’ lives, therefore, once the reputation is lost, it becomes really very hard to gain it back.

Somebody asked my Papa some days back, “Your son has not been living with you for such a long period now. How can you believe that he has not got himself addicted to bad habits and does not do anything wrong?”

Papa replied, “I trust my son completely. I don’t believe he is like any other son of this town, who would indulge in those wrong deeds.”

When my Ma was explaining this incident to me, I could not feel anything, but guilt. I suddenly found myself falling into a place, where there was a serious dearth of the respect of my parents. Tears started rolling down my cheeks. Of course, I drank for a very less number of times. Of course, they do not know about this yet. But breaking somebody’s trust can result into a punishment for the whole of lifetime. And they are my parents!

Now since you’ve read this post upto this point, that means you seem to bekind of interested in me. I’d like to tell you one thing. Apart from this what I mentioned above, in the past five years, I’ve said a lot of lies to them for a countless number of times, for friends, for many things that I wanted to get etc. They don’t know this, but I’ve broken their trust many times. Something similar can happen with you as well, in fact it might already have happened. I’d really not like this to happen again. So, I request you not to trust me or whatever.

Whatever decision you take, it won’t hurt me now.

Main jaaga! :D

OK. Chalo boht sad ho gaya. Kaafi senti bhi ho liya. Now I should get back to normality..

Mujhe zyada der tak sad rehne ki aadat nai hoti thi. Ek keeda hua karta tha, jo mujhe zyada der sad ni rehne deta tha. Jaise hi sadness strike karti thi, wo poori fight maarta tha aur use happ karta tha aur fir uske saath dhishoom dhishoom khelta tha. Fir saare grieves haar ke bhaag jaate the!

Is baar thoda late ho gaya jaagne mein ye keeda. Thoda rasta kho gaya tha upar aane ka..andar kahin reh gaya tha..isliye! Fir maine aawaaz lagai, aur wo aa gaya baahar..ab sabki watt laga dega jaise hi kisi ne bewajah dimaag kharaab kara toh..hunh!

Yup, I’m back into the form ji! Ab bas dekhte jaao, life kaise mast kar leni hai..
Ab jaag toh gaya hoon..bas pehle jaisa kuch karna hai..kuch kar diya, toh feel hi aa jaani hai! :D

:)

Jaane kyun, dil chaahta hai tu rahe, toh il be alright, il be alright! :)

I was wondering, is it a beginning of the end? Or the beginning of a new start? :-/

Thank You Sachin!

I checked the time in my mobile. It showed 6. Oh! 6 o’clock! Everybody had left at 4.30 and I was there in the office, with three other persons. Thanks to this ‘fourth quarter of a financial year’ thing. At least there is some work to do now! So much, that it makes me stay in the office till 6. And even sometimes 7. Touchwood! Meri khud ki nazar mujhe boht jaldi lag jaati hai. :-/

And then, he made a call to somebody. He was not my boss, but the one, jise I hate the most! All the conversation was going on in Telugu. So there was no chance, that I could get anything what they were talking about. And then after sometime, he yelled Sachin, which brought my attention to him, who was standing at about 10 meters away from me. And then, 191. What? 191? 191! By that time, I had just a single update of the match: India had lost Sehwag very early. So I was wondering what is wrong or right with this 191! Was this his score? Or India’s? Or something else is there? And then, I saw him smiling. It was not a smirk. It was a smile on his face, in the bliss of something. And it did not take me to make a guess what that 191 was all about.

I went to boss’s seat. timesofindia.indiatimes, Ctrl + Enter and clicked on the sports tab. OMG! The screen was showing something which amazed me to the core! He was playing on 196 at that time. 196!!! :O and about 3-4 overs were left to be bowled by RSA. He had already broken one record, which nobody had been able to do for a long time! OMG! Ye kab hua?! Mujhe kyun ni pata is match ke baare mein kuch bhi?! 196! Matlab, 1^st double century in an ODI is on the way! Saara India khushi se jhoom raha hai, aur main yahan mara raha hoon! Ummm..kya karoon! Jaaun? Ya baithke kaam khatam karoon? Tmrw GM will ask for the updates. erm..kya karoon? Daant sun lunga..200 baar-baar ni banne waale. Yea right, daant sun lunga. Calculated the risk and went to the boss.

“Sir! I’ve almost done all the work. Just these 2-3 GRs are left, which I cant bill. There are a lot of mistakes in them. And I’m leaving now.”

(After thinking for a while)

“OK fine. The work is more or less done. Go!”

And then, I ran! I ran like hell, from the office to the hostel, for about 5 minutes, with just one stop of about 10 seconds, remembering Tom Hanks, Forrest Gump and praying continuously to God, “Please! Don’t let him! Please!” Reached hostel and then common room. Just-In-Time! He was at the non-striker’s end, the score-bar showed that he was playing at 199. Aur fir jaake meri saans mein kuch saans aayi. Thankyou God! Sometimes, you do listen to me! Thanks to Dhoni. He didn’t let him.

But fir Dhoni ne pakaya boht saara..he played all the six balls of 49^th over, without even taking a single run! How could he do like this?! :O When he was hitting boundaries, nobody was cheering up but cursing him. 50^th over, 1^st ball..dot! I ran for about 5 minutes not to see you play, uncle! Temper was at its peak, and then, 2^nd ball..another shot, heading to become another boundary, but thanks to Hashim Amla, who stopped the ball, just a few meters away from the fence.

And then was the moment there, which I was waiting for, for which I ran so fast, for which I didn’t care about what would be happening with me tomorrow. I saw him making a 200! Mera effort waste ni gaya! :D :)

I was more than happy! There was a reason to stay happy. He made me happy.

Iske aage aur kuch ni likhna. :)

An Excerpt.

An excerpt when today morning I was about to take breakfast, with Shreyash:

(After figuring out that poori bani hai.)

Me: O nai yaar! Poodi ni khaani mujhe. Boht dry and oily hoti hai! :(

Shreyash: Koi na! Idli samajhke khaale.

(After looking at the sabzi.)

Me: Yeh kaisi aaloo ki sabzi hai?! Isme aaloo toh hai hi ni..only curry reh gayi hai! :O

Shreyash: Koi na! Chutney samajhke khaa le.

(After tasting the sabzi.)

Me : eeww..itni kadwi hai! :(

Andar se aawaaz aayi, “Koi na! Meethi samajhke khaa le.”

Right! 7 months se yehi toh kar raha hoon. :'(

From Happiness to Sadness.

Some days back, I was asked by a colleague whether it would be OK if I’m sent to a site in the last week of February, which is located near Delhi, officially, for 10 days? The work would get completed in maximum 4-5 days. In the remaining days, I could enjoy or do anything  which I wanted to. For me, it was something, about which, now I just dream..going to places, where people don’t talk to each other in code languages, where food generally is wheat-based and not rice-based, where I’d be happier etc etc.. So obviously, the answer was ‘Hell Yes!’. It still was a dream. For about 3-4 days, I kept on asking him whether it was a joke or what? I could not believe this was happening. In return, I always got the answer, which I wanted to get. I started making plans of where I’d go and what I’d be doing there. I yearned to visit Gurgaon and Chandigarh this time. Happy Happy! :D

Then, something happened over there, something happened over here. These happenings were the enemies of my happiness. They shook hands and attacked, and that thing happened, which I wanted the least to happen. Jaana cancel ho gaya. All those plans got ruined. Happiness got converted to sadness. I feel shattered now. Very Sad. :(

If the fourth quarter of a financial year was not going on, I would have gone on my own after all this. Mujhe itna hopeful ni hona chahiye tha. I hope overcome very soon.

PS: two days ago my office computer’s monitor broke down, and after my two days ‘follow-up’, I’m not seeing it getting replaced in the near future. It’s like as if someone has thrown salt on a fresh wound. :(

Nostalgia!

1. Yesterday, I went to a restaurant, whose ambience was very much similar to Gopal’s, Sector 8, Chandigarh. The crowd was mostly consisting of dating couples, college going students and some families.
2. The person sitting in front of me was holding a helmet in his hand. His physique was very much similar to Mayank Raina’s..poora bhara-bhara..having a huge face, wo bhi Raine jaisa hi! He left after having a light meal.
3. He was replaced by a working-lady who was accompanied by a man. She was carrying an IBM-Thinkpad! They left after sometime.
4. Aaj day tak ka mausam mujhe yaad dila raha tha Chandigarh ki..waisi mausam mein classes lagaane ka mann ni hota tha..and kabhi uphill jaane ka plan banaya karte the..many times, uphill chale jaaya karte the..nahi toh kahin aur velhiyan maarne.
5. Fir aaj ka Productivity Improvement something something quiz..pehle preliminary round..’20 questions’..fir selection of exactly 5 teams..and then final round..uff! SAASC ke quizes bhi aise hi hua karte the.

All of a sudden, why were so many links connected to make a chain, each of which was reminding me of past? What is the indication?

Ab kya chaahte ho Bhagwaan?

Happy Valentine's Week! :)

Valentine's Week.
Out of those 8 days, only 2 hi hote the mere liye toh..
This time, na toh koi Chocolate mili, aur na hi koi Hug.

Happy Valentine's Week! :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNdpoWhLDFE

Wow!

An excerpt:

Were you there when the HR people were giving the presentation on PRP (Performance Related Payment)?
- Yes sir, I was there.
So you must be knowing by this time that you need to perform well if you want to get PRP?
- Oh yes sir, I know that. (being the junior most in the dept, obviously I’ll be getting the least!)
OK! So what are your plans for future?
- Sir, I…
I meant would you be continuing with BHEL or are you planning to leave soon?
- Sir, I’ve not given it a thought as yet. I don’t know!
Which college are you from?
- Punjab Engineering College, Chandigarh.
Ques. Branch?
- Mechanical, sir.

No more questions, just an advice.
See, you are from a “normal engineering college”, and not from an IIT. You won’t be able to make it to other colleges for higher education. So BHEL would be the best option for you, for whole of the life! Dil lagaake kaam karo! You keep sitting in that corner. Don’t do that! Get more involved with people. Learn new things.
Wow! Thank you very much, sir! (I’ll really be very much grateful to you!)


...aur is tarah mera future decide kar diya gaya...


I don't understand this. If not asked, why does a person give an advice to another, when they are just unknown to each other?

2009.

In 2009, life changed so much!

I have lost a lot of things. College life falls into this category, which is the biggest loss.

I got to get a very few.
The most special of what i got was, a sister. I never had her before and I had always missed this relation in my life. Not anymore! :)

Thankyou! :)