From Happiness to Sadness.

Some days back, I was asked by a colleague whether it would be OK if I’m sent to a site in the last week of February, which is located near Delhi, officially, for 10 days? The work would get completed in maximum 4-5 days. In the remaining days, I could enjoy or do anything  which I wanted to. For me, it was something, about which, now I just dream..going to places, where people don’t talk to each other in code languages, where food generally is wheat-based and not rice-based, where I’d be happier etc etc.. So obviously, the answer was ‘Hell Yes!’. It still was a dream. For about 3-4 days, I kept on asking him whether it was a joke or what? I could not believe this was happening. In return, I always got the answer, which I wanted to get. I started making plans of where I’d go and what I’d be doing there. I yearned to visit Gurgaon and Chandigarh this time. Happy Happy! :D

Then, something happened over there, something happened over here. These happenings were the enemies of my happiness. They shook hands and attacked, and that thing happened, which I wanted the least to happen. Jaana cancel ho gaya. All those plans got ruined. Happiness got converted to sadness. I feel shattered now. Very Sad. :(

If the fourth quarter of a financial year was not going on, I would have gone on my own after all this. Mujhe itna hopeful ni hona chahiye tha. I hope overcome very soon.

PS: two days ago my office computer’s monitor broke down, and after my two days ‘follow-up’, I’m not seeing it getting replaced in the near future. It’s like as if someone has thrown salt on a fresh wound. :(

Happy Valentine's Week! :)

Valentine's Week.
Out of those 8 days, only 2 hi hote the mere liye toh..
This time, na toh koi Chocolate mili, aur na hi koi Hug.

Happy Valentine's Week! :)

October

This is the last day of October. I was waiting so eagerly for this month to get over. It has been a real sad month for me, very sad, in fact! I lost so many things in this month. I cried so many times in this month. My mind remained disturbed during most of the time in this month.

I wanted to attend the convocation. But there were so many garaaries which were stuck in between my road to happyness, which had made me disheartened. Later, they somehow got solved and I was able to attend convo.

The three days in the college were amazing! After so many days, I liked being at a place. A place, where everything seems to be familiar to me, be it a leaf of a tree, or that breeze flowing from east to west or north to south or may be some other direction. Be it that chair kept on the verka booth, or that water-cooler in the hostel, or those roads of college, or those people, who were the partners of time of my life, or those cars and bikes, on which we used to maaro gedi, or that PEC market mein Mirchi uncle ke paraanthe, or that Cheese Chilly ki sabzi, which made me feel at home, my second home, and so many other things, which I can’t mention. I feel overwhelmed.

Those three days passed so fast which I had not imagined before going to the college. I was feeling happy, real wala, after a long time! Before boarding the 1^st flight, I thought I had become more stronger. But after boarding the 2^nd flight, I realized that I had become more weaker now.

The next 10 days became very difficult for me to pass, alone, here. I was not able to decide which one was a better option for me, going to the college to attend the convo, or staying here and attending the office regularly. Perhaps, the 2^nd option could be a better one. I kept on thinking about the ways of getting away from this part of life. I started hating Hyderabad very badly. I even started ignoring some people, which I’d never done earlier, because of which, some of my relations got affected.

I celebrated Diwali pehli baar ghar se baahar. Life mein first time, I felt homesickness!

I got a department of my choice in the office, but they haven’t given me any kind of work, even though I’ve pleaded them to do so. I started reading a novel in the office, thinking that it will help me getting some task, but still, no progress! Leave work, they’ve not even given me any PC or a seat to sit. I just play musical chair in the office all the time. Now the condition is that I’ve got sick of sitting in that chair for the whole day.

Then this fever, which raised my body temperature to 103 degrees Fahrenheit for three days, has played the role of villain in the movie, in which the actor is already dying. Those kadwi kadwi medicines..eewwww! The taste of my mouth is so much kadwa these days, taking a gulp of water in the mouth becomes unbearable, because it doesn’t good. I’m not able to eat more than 2 rotis at a time. I’m not feeling hungry at all. I’m not able to do my self-counselling.

I don’t know what has happened to me. I just want this month to get over. Each single day I’ve wished to get over before the scheduled 24 hours. It was a very depressing month. October ne asli aukaat dikha di mujhe meri.

It has become a very senseless sad post. I’m sorry blogger! I promise, I’ll be fine, soon.

PPO!

Today Quality Control Dept ka ek banda, Mr. Yadav, came to our dept (he is holding a position of DM in the company). coffee and snacks chal rahe the..total there were 5 persons. 3 of us were from the same dept.. one was from some another dept.
Beech mein pata nahi kya keeda hua uske, he asked me, "If an offer given, would you like to join the company?"
I got shocked. I said, "Sir, there is a lot to learn here, so it can be a very good start for me, but the problem is that i don't like this place and it can ruin my personal life. So it won't be my first choice."
He, who joined this company about 25 years ago, looked bruised with the answer and started saying, "Are we fool?? For what we ppl are living here? Aajkal ke ladkon ko toh pata hi nahi kya chahiye..etc etc."
Then I was just going to explain him the reasons why I wont be joining this company..the first of them was since this company gives a package of i think around 4.5 lacs, therefore, there is a chance that if I get a PPO from this company, college wale kahin is company ko dream na bana de! And agar aisa ho gaya, toh meri toh life khatam as I won't be allowed to sit in any other company..but itna sab sunne se pehle hi start ho gaya comparison round..between the three trainees who are here..for the 6 months training..
Here are two other students from Thapar College..Rahul Thakur..Lakshay Juneja..
Lakshay toh apne type ka banda hai..bilkul PEC walon ki tarah harkatein hain uski..sare kaam end time par karna types..Rahul bilkul ulta..thapar ke batch ka 2nd ranker hai..9.2 CGPA hai uski..kabhi sunta nahi meri toh at least..and attitude itna! And yeah..Night mein 10 baje se pehle sone ki aadat hai..abhi thoda late so leta hai :D par i dont like that guy..bas yeh samajha rakha hai khud ko ki 6 mahine nikaalne hain..nikaal lo bas kisi tarah se! Toh ab obvious si baat hai ki agar CGPA 9.2 hogi, toh keeda toh hoga hi..thapar ka jo hai!! (Swami hai waise usse zyada CG wala..par keeda kahin se nahi hai..PEC wala jo hai!! ;))
Woh Mr. Yadav..started saying ki agar in teeno mein se kisi ko PPO mila, toh Rahul ko hi milega..bahut knowledge hai us bande ko. There came the difference between 9.2 and 6.24. I appreciate the knowledge what he has. But the knowledge is not the only thing in life, I think so. I'm a 6.24, but still I think I'm far better than him, because I'm a PECobian! Because ppl in my college know me. Because cultural activities naam ki kuch cheez hoti hai life mein! In these things, he is zero, as he says. After coming to this company, the only thing jo mere kaam aayi hai college mein padhi hui is, the Autocad. And woh bhi I learnt myself. None of the teachers helped me in that. Mr. Yadav itne confident isliye the kyunki he has seen him kaam karte hue..an use project hi aisa mila toh main kya kar sakta hoon? He was not saying to me, but his eyes were saying a lot of things. Some days ago, he came to know the CGPA m holding. Woh yeh nahi jaanta ki Rahul kitna bada keeda hai! itna irritating banda! Dappy se bhi saadhu saadhu jokes maarta hai..(Sorry Dappy) har baal ki khaal nikaalna uski aadat hai..har baat ko pakadta hai..and jab hum use kehte hain ki baatein mat pakda kar, kehta hai ki baaton ko koi kaise pakad sakta hai?! Fuck! use suggestion bhi nahi de sakte..nahi toh aisa hi haal hota hai.. Mujhe Rahul kehta hai ki woh bilkul bhi kaam nahi karta..and yeh bhi kehta hai ki agar kisi ko PPO milega, toh woh main hi hunga.. Thapar walon ki ek aur speciality.. Mouth mein God, side mein knife! kehte kuch aur hain..and karte kuch aur hi hain..saale dil se jeena toh jaante hi nahi. Waise yeh sabhi keedon ki speciality hoti hai..par us bhai ne toh hadd hi kardi!!
jo baat unfortunate thi, woh yeh thi ki jin logon ne mujhe kaam karte hye dekha hai, m pointing to the two sitting in the snacks party, woh log mere liye kuch bole hi nahi.. I was expecting something from them..the simple reason, because yahaan meri watt lagaye ja raha tha woh banda and mere dept wala koi kuch bola hi nahi. The reason was because un logon ko Rahul ki baatein achi lagti hain..agar main sahi bhi hota hoon, toh bhi meri watt lagaane mein lage rehte hain..main hansta ya rota hoon, nobody cares! I am unable to figure out where the problem lies in me!!

These six months time was the worst time of my life. I just hope I don't get such a bad time again in my life.

Yeh baat PPO se start hui thi, and pata nahin mera dimaag kahaan tak le gayi..I Never expected that I would be writing a blog in my life..at least a sad start toh kabhi bhi nahi..mujhe likhna nai aata.