October

This is the last day of October. I was waiting so eagerly for this month to get over. It has been a real sad month for me, very sad, in fact! I lost so many things in this month. I cried so many times in this month. My mind remained disturbed during most of the time in this month.

I wanted to attend the convocation. But there were so many garaaries which were stuck in between my road to happyness, which had made me disheartened. Later, they somehow got solved and I was able to attend convo.

The three days in the college were amazing! After so many days, I liked being at a place. A place, where everything seems to be familiar to me, be it a leaf of a tree, or that breeze flowing from east to west or north to south or may be some other direction. Be it that chair kept on the verka booth, or that water-cooler in the hostel, or those roads of college, or those people, who were the partners of time of my life, or those cars and bikes, on which we used to maaro gedi, or that PEC market mein Mirchi uncle ke paraanthe, or that Cheese Chilly ki sabzi, which made me feel at home, my second home, and so many other things, which I can’t mention. I feel overwhelmed.

Those three days passed so fast which I had not imagined before going to the college. I was feeling happy, real wala, after a long time! Before boarding the 1^st flight, I thought I had become more stronger. But after boarding the 2^nd flight, I realized that I had become more weaker now.

The next 10 days became very difficult for me to pass, alone, here. I was not able to decide which one was a better option for me, going to the college to attend the convo, or staying here and attending the office regularly. Perhaps, the 2^nd option could be a better one. I kept on thinking about the ways of getting away from this part of life. I started hating Hyderabad very badly. I even started ignoring some people, which I’d never done earlier, because of which, some of my relations got affected.

I celebrated Diwali pehli baar ghar se baahar. Life mein first time, I felt homesickness!

I got a department of my choice in the office, but they haven’t given me any kind of work, even though I’ve pleaded them to do so. I started reading a novel in the office, thinking that it will help me getting some task, but still, no progress! Leave work, they’ve not even given me any PC or a seat to sit. I just play musical chair in the office all the time. Now the condition is that I’ve got sick of sitting in that chair for the whole day.

Then this fever, which raised my body temperature to 103 degrees Fahrenheit for three days, has played the role of villain in the movie, in which the actor is already dying. Those kadwi kadwi medicines..eewwww! The taste of my mouth is so much kadwa these days, taking a gulp of water in the mouth becomes unbearable, because it doesn’t good. I’m not able to eat more than 2 rotis at a time. I’m not feeling hungry at all. I’m not able to do my self-counselling.

I don’t know what has happened to me. I just want this month to get over. Each single day I’ve wished to get over before the scheduled 24 hours. It was a very depressing month. October ne asli aukaat dikha di mujhe meri.

It has become a very senseless sad post. I’m sorry blogger! I promise, I’ll be fine, soon.