October

This is the last day of October. I was waiting so eagerly for this month to get over. It has been a real sad month for me, very sad, in fact! I lost so many things in this month. I cried so many times in this month. My mind remained disturbed during most of the time in this month.

I wanted to attend the convocation. But there were so many garaaries which were stuck in between my road to happyness, which had made me disheartened. Later, they somehow got solved and I was able to attend convo.

The three days in the college were amazing! After so many days, I liked being at a place. A place, where everything seems to be familiar to me, be it a leaf of a tree, or that breeze flowing from east to west or north to south or may be some other direction. Be it that chair kept on the verka booth, or that water-cooler in the hostel, or those roads of college, or those people, who were the partners of time of my life, or those cars and bikes, on which we used to maaro gedi, or that PEC market mein Mirchi uncle ke paraanthe, or that Cheese Chilly ki sabzi, which made me feel at home, my second home, and so many other things, which I can’t mention. I feel overwhelmed.

Those three days passed so fast which I had not imagined before going to the college. I was feeling happy, real wala, after a long time! Before boarding the 1^st flight, I thought I had become more stronger. But after boarding the 2^nd flight, I realized that I had become more weaker now.

The next 10 days became very difficult for me to pass, alone, here. I was not able to decide which one was a better option for me, going to the college to attend the convo, or staying here and attending the office regularly. Perhaps, the 2^nd option could be a better one. I kept on thinking about the ways of getting away from this part of life. I started hating Hyderabad very badly. I even started ignoring some people, which I’d never done earlier, because of which, some of my relations got affected.

I celebrated Diwali pehli baar ghar se baahar. Life mein first time, I felt homesickness!

I got a department of my choice in the office, but they haven’t given me any kind of work, even though I’ve pleaded them to do so. I started reading a novel in the office, thinking that it will help me getting some task, but still, no progress! Leave work, they’ve not even given me any PC or a seat to sit. I just play musical chair in the office all the time. Now the condition is that I’ve got sick of sitting in that chair for the whole day.

Then this fever, which raised my body temperature to 103 degrees Fahrenheit for three days, has played the role of villain in the movie, in which the actor is already dying. Those kadwi kadwi medicines..eewwww! The taste of my mouth is so much kadwa these days, taking a gulp of water in the mouth becomes unbearable, because it doesn’t good. I’m not able to eat more than 2 rotis at a time. I’m not feeling hungry at all. I’m not able to do my self-counselling.

I don’t know what has happened to me. I just want this month to get over. Each single day I’ve wished to get over before the scheduled 24 hours. It was a very depressing month. October ne asli aukaat dikha di mujhe meri.

It has become a very senseless sad post. I’m sorry blogger! I promise, I’ll be fine, soon.

I.

I.
I came to a new place.
It was a different world for I.
I lived in solace for the initial few months there.
In a year, I knew many people around him.
I became We.
I’s became Our’s.
I loved him, he loved I.
I loved her, she loved I.
I loved them, they loved I.
I loved so many others, those others loved I.
I spent wonderful time at that place.
I, We, Our, Us.
I left the place one day.

I comes to another new place now.
It is another different world for I.
I lives in another solace, now, for a longer time.
Now,
I is no more We.
I’s is no more Our’s.
I is missing him, no idea about him.
I is missing her, no idea about her.
I is missing them, no idea about them.
I is missing others, no idea about those others.

I is not becoming new We.
I’s not becoming new Our’s.
I isn’t loving new him, new he isn’t loving I.
I isn’t loving new her, new she isn’t loving I.
I isn’t loving new them, new they aren’t loving I.
I isn’t loving new others, those new others aren’t loving I.
I is spending a horrible time at this place.
I, I, I, I.

I leaves the world one day.

The Jai Ho Concert!

On the last Saturday, I saw God..live! The God of Music, Mr A R Rahman. It always was a dream to watch him playing live! And there was an opportunity of making this dream a reality, when I saw that advertisement about 2 months back while surfing on the internet, which said,"A R Rahman would be performing live in the city at this place on this date, Jai Ho Concert and blah blah blah.” I dint want to miss the chance, that God has given to me. I tried to convince so many people to go to this concert. We were 4 guys, who got our tickets booked on the internet. Before one day, I had made a list of people, whom I’ll call so that they’ll listen to A R Rahman, playing live! But all that went in vain, when I found that my mobile was not catching any signal. The location was located very far away from Hyderabad. There is just airport and a 7-star hotel over there and nothing else. Mere Chandigarh waale number mein bhi there was not sufficient balance, to make a call or two. I called up Utsav and asked him to get me a recharge of 200 bucks on the old number. He confirmed me of doing it.. (Somewhere around 8.30 PM, i got the recharge done.) Now we all were waiting for the show to start. Suddenly, there was a noise, coz the person, whom we were looking for, turned up on the screen, wearing a white T-shirt and pants singing the track of the movie Guru, titled ‘Jaage Rahe Hain Der Tak’..! I actually could not believe the dream coming true! Open Mouth, both hands crossed behind my head, eyes looking at the sky, I was actually shivering at that moment! It was actually, AWESOME! Later the following tracks were covered by him and his crew:

Khalbali (RDB), Ye Haseen Vadiyan (Roja), Delhi 6, Jiya se Jiya, Gangsta Blues (SDM), Ringa Ringa (SDM), Fiqrana (Blue), Dil Se, Kehne Ko Jashn-e-bahara hai (Jodha Akbar), Chupke Se (Saathiya), Mausam (SDM), Kahin Toh Hogi Wo (Jaane Tu..), Kabhi kabhi aditi, Rehna Tu (Delhi 6), Chhaiya Chhaiya (Dil Se), Mayya Mayya (Guru), Arziyan (Delhi 6), Khwaja mere khwaja (Jodha Akbar), Kehna bhi kya, Jiya jale (Dil Se), Pappu can't dance saala, Rangeela, Ae Bachu (Ghajini), Mustafa, Hamma, Jai Ho and Vande Matram!

Plus there were some telugu and tamil numbers also.

The crew included: Sivamani (Awesome Drummer!!), Blaaze, Benny Dayal, Neeti Mohan, Shweta Pandit, Tanvi Shah, Javed Ali, Rashid Ali, Sadhna Sargam, Chitra, Suzanne and many more!

It was an awesome evening! It was a full utilization of 1000 bucks! From 7.00 PM to 10.15 PM, it was complete satisfying fun, which can't be explained in words! It was a lifetime opportunity. I'm happy, I dint waste it! :)

Now if somebody asks me, is there anything big that I’ve done in life, I’ve got something to say..! :)

Merry Diwali!! :)

It was my first Diwali when I was not at home. Kabhi-kabhi Naukri sach mein boht kharaab lagti hai. Specially at that time, when you can’t go to your home on some special occasions like Diwali. Friday tak saare hostel waale apne-apne ghar chale gaye the..after saying ‘Happy Diwali’ to me. I was thinking, how could they just say this two-words-phrase to me, when they knew that I’m almost gonna be the only person in the hostel for the next two days. It was nothing, but just Formality! No problems. It was looking to me as if a sad weekend is approaching me, and I am trying to run away from it. But I had no place to go. So, I had to fight, against that akelapan. For me, seriously not much effort is needed to turn myself into a happy mood from a sad mood, until or unless the thing is related to saying ‘Good Byes’ to dear ones. Touch Wood!!!

I thought I’ll make this Diwali an unforgettable for me! First, I turned myself in a happy state of mind. Fir looked for a broom in the hostel.. I wanted to do the 'Diwali Ki Safai' of my room.. :D

Luckily i got it, and then it took some one hour for me to clean my room. I removed each and single cobweb that had become part of my room. They were so many of them! I killed all the spiders responsible for making my room dirty. (Spider is the only being in this world, jiski hatya karne mein mujhe guilty feeling ni aati hai!) I tried to make my ganda sa materialistic room mera home in Hyderabad and changed the orientation of everything in it. Everything was at its place now. Although wo pehle bhi clean hi hota tha, but is baar I did this task after a long time. Feel alag si hi thi kuch uski.. :)

Uske baad I started thinking about the things which we used to bring at home, at Diwali. Prepared a list, then went to the market and bought the following things:

• Flowers. Bhavya asked me to bring them to decorate the room, which I still don’t know how to do.
• Gulab Jaamun. Boht din baad khaaye. They were tasty! Myanka asked me to bring some sweets. :)
• Candles because Diye ke saath mein oil and batti bhi laani padti hai..itna effort ni maara jaata.. :D
• Fruits. I bought 3 Guvavas, ekdum green! Wo bhi boht din baad khaaye. Feel aayi! :)
• Saunf, boht saare colours waali..! :)

I dint purchase these things ever till date. I had no idea about the cost of these things. So, there is a high possibility ki mujhe loota hoga shopkeepers ne. Koi chakkar nai! :)

Evening hote hote khayal aaya ki ghar ki saari lights Switch On karte hote the. So, it was my next task. I went to each and every corridor of both the floors of the hostel and did the work. And while doing this, I was becoming more and more exciting. It took some 15 minutes to do this work. Fir mujhe yaad aaya ki I forgot to bring a match-box from the market. Ahh! To get it, I had to go to the market which is almost one km away from the hostel. Argghh. Took a lift from two persons, who were going out, bought a match box, came back to hostel on my feet. It had already got dark by that time. I returned to room. And started thinking ki decoration kaise karte hain flowers se! Haha. Kuch samajh ni aaya. Aisa kaam kabhi nai kara tha pehle. Played ‘21 Guns’ by Green Day on the laptop. Candles light kari, and ek smiling sa face banaya. Wo mast lag raha tha. Flowers se Happy Diwali likh diya. Ho gaya decoration wala kaam khatam. :D :D

Fir pooja karni hoti hai, toh Manu ki baat yaad aayi. Internet pe Lakshmi Ji, Ganesh Ji and Mahaveer Swami ki photo dekhi, and 1-2 jo mantra aate hain, wo bol diye. Hahahaha.. Ho gayi Pooja!! :D :D

Saunf khaayi. Kuch logon se phone pe baat kari. Fir 1-2 crackers chalaye. Ho gayi Diwali. Then went for the dinner to a restaurant called ‘Punjaabi Rasoi’, which is at some 10 kms away from here.. Paneer khaya boht saara.. Awesome feel aa rai thi! :D :D

I was in the pursuit of happyness one day ago and I was feeling so happy at the end of the day. One can be happy if he wants. Bas thoda sa effort maarna hota hai. By the time I returned back to hostel, I was tired. After some time, I slept.

It was my 23^rd Diwali. And it was the most amazing of all of them. Hardly I can remember any of them. But this was one, which would never be forgotten. It was the 2^nd most happiest day, till date, here in Hyderabad. And it has taken entry into the list of the happiest occasions of my life. I’m so proud (not boasting) of myself! :D

Mere andar ka bacha fir se jaag gaya.. :)

Merry Diwali! :)

Thank You Bhavya. Thank You Manu. Thank You Myanka. :)

Ye Dooriyan!

Kyun koi paas hai
Door hai kyun koi
Jaane na koi yahan pe

Aa raha paas ya door mein ja raha
Janu na mein hoon kahan pe

Yeh dooriyan

In raahon ki dooriyan
Nigahon ki dooriyan
Hum rahon ki dooriyan
Fanah ho sabhi dooriyan


-Irshad Kamil

1st Salary?

Log 1^st salary udaate hain..zindagi ko ek naye ehsaas se jeete hain..jin kaaryon ko zindagi mein kuch rukaawaton ke chalte poora nahi kar paaye the, unhe karne ke khwaab dekhte hain, aur un khwaabon ko ek yatharth roop dete hain..aur jab ye sab ho jaata hai, toh khushi se phoole nahi samaate..kyunki tab, unke paas paisa hota hai..khud ke paseene ko bahaakar kamaya hua paisa..! aur tab, zindagi wo nahi rehti, jo pehle hua karti thi..zindagi ek naya roop dharan karti hai..jahan shuruaat ke kuch mahine, boht masti se nikaale jaate hain..

All these things happened with me too. I also made plans and lists which consisted of activities, that I was unable to do..items, which I could never buy because of financial constraints..clothes, shoes and so many other things! But by the time I got the salary, the date of convocation was finalized. Hyderabad is such a distant place from Chandigarh, that I was left with just Air-Ways as the only possible option for me to use because I wanted to get as much time as possible to spend with the dear-ones, once I leave for college and it requires a lot of money. Moreover, because of the uncertainties in the office, it was unclear to me whether I would be able to go to college to attend the convocation or not! So I could not book my tickets for the flight at that time. I could book the tickets approximately around a week prior to the convocation only. And before one week of leaving, the prices of tickets go very high. I didn’t want to take any money from Papa. So, I was left with just two options. One, stay here only, get all those items which I wanted to get, fulfill all those desires and enjoy the life here in Hyderabad, akele! Two, go to Chandigarh, forget all those lists for sometime, bano kanjoos thode time ke liye and maaro masti sabke saath wahan jaake! I, obviously, preferred the 2^nd option. I thought I would save as much money as possible and then spend it in Chandigarh. 3 days ki masti there would be much more satisfying as compared to 1 month ka masti here.

There was just one tick mark in the list. I bought one Gillette Mach3 razor, which I thought of buying when I was in college. The remaining list remained un-ticked. I did meri zindagi ki 1^st shopping. Most of the items are household items. The bill’s photo is shown.

And if Suchreet says after looking at this list, that I’ve become an Aunty, you’re most welcome! :-P

List ka kya hai..aaj nai toh kal complete kar lunga! :-)

The best thing is, i've now learnt how to save money. Perhaps, in future, it may help me! :)