The Overcoming of Phobia of Driving.

It has been almost a month now since I bought this scooter. 11.11.11 was the date when I got its possession. To do so, I really had to cajole a lot of courage and determination, and money, of course! Buying a vehicle was one of the toughest and courageous decisions that I’d have ever made in my life, more than to continue working with BHEL. It is not like that I don’t know how to drive a vehicle; it was just that a couple of incidents resulted in the development of fear of driving that had made an unwanted place in my heart.

Even though I knew how to drive a 2-wheeler, I always had a phobia about driving. I wish after seeing that bloody truck, which was meandering all over the road, I had not dropped off that bike on that day when my father was training me about driving. On that day itself, I had decided to keep myself away from sitting on the front seat of a bike. Afterwards, a few more attempts were made to learn driving, which went futile. Meanwhile, my love for walking non-stop for hours was growing. I could not help myself after all this, but foster the decision I had already made. Well, those decisions were made by me. I was the producer. And I only was the merciless critic. And when this happens, anybody can make a guess what would be the output. My whole college life just passed without driving a bike on the beautiful roads of Chandigarh. Although I tried to get a few friends’ bikes a couple of times, but then, even if they would’ve wanted to help me out, they’d have taken calculated risks only. In my case, well, I don’t have anything to say. Since I knew how to ride a bicycle, all that I got to drive was a two-stroke vehicle, I’d always be thankful to Vimmy & Shubham for giving that chance to me.

Before coming to Hyderabad, I had learnt how we drive a car, but the traffic sense of this place made me go in a shock. I met with an accident on the first Sunday itself after my arrival here, when I was trying to cross the road and got struck by a scooter on my left hand. It seemed to be a minor physical injury, but mentally, it was huge! Very huge! After a few days, I read an article in the newspaper, which was speaking something about the road accident statistics that happen in India. Andhra Pradesh was ranked the worst of all the Indian states. The fear returned. I started avoided driving again. Two years just went by, and then I realized the urge to have a vehicle.

People of age lesser than mine buy 1000 cc bikes these days, and I was the one who was making a decision to buy a 110 cc scooter. Sometimes I felt shameful while discussing about this with the people around, but then, it is my life. Nobody else would be giving a damn to me, be it for a good, or a bad. Hence, after completing a light market research, the said amount was transacted in the seller’s account to buy a metal-grey colored Honda Aviator (It was the first cheque payment that I made in this life). Now I’m not afraid of anybody making any comment about it. After all, ‘If it doesn’t give you a high, why do it?’

Now that I’ve driven more than 300 kilometers on the busy roads of Hyderabad, I’m pretty confident about my driving skills. As there is always a scope of improvement, I’m thriving to do more. Plus, I learnt that unless an effort is made, fear can’t be overcome.

By the way, I’ll be getting done with the registration process in a couple of days, and then will be getting a permanent number in another couple of days.

The Evening of 30th Nov'2011.

After completing yet another tiring official trip, this time to Delhi & Gurgaon, I was returning to Hyderabad on the last day of November. I wonder whether this is an effect of the handing over of my department to a new GM, or my presence in the department has really become that crucial that I've been upgraded from travelling in trains to flights to go to sites to save a few days' time. I really wonder! Nevertheless, since it was a win-win situation for me, I ain’t interested in thinking much about it.

So, I was returning to Hyderabad from Delhi after completing the task assigned to me. This flight was coming from Chicago, and hence, for the first time, I boarded a flight occupied by more overseas people than Indians. There was one time when I hated coming to Hyderabad from any place. The reason was, as soon as I’ve always got into a train/flight to Hyderabad, I get to hear nothing but Telugu, which I never understood. The less availability of Telugu people resulted in the flight resulted in the surprise mentioned above. Hence, there were not many ’antras’, ‘ekkadas’, ‘chepandies’ that I got to hear. :-P Anyways, my one day never ends when these words don’t fall in my ears. Hence, it was a bit surprising for me not to hear them.

The two hours passed away just like that and the flight landed at Hyderabad. For the first time ever, I was coming out of the ‘International Departure Gate’. There comes the fix. My frantic steps were paced down automatically by a view that I’d not seen anywhere despite travelling so much in the past two years. At any Railway Station, or at any Airport! This was something special. I’d never seen so many people waiting for their sons, daughters, parents, spouses, siblings and so many other relations that you can think of! There was a person of every age group present over there. They probably didn’t know what they were wearing; they just wanted to meet their beloved ones. There were people who might not have seen their relatives’ faces for a long time. They all were very happy. And then, as I was crossing them, I could notice that there were a few arrivals in Hyderabad, who had already met the people who came to see them. Hugs. Tears. Smiles. Fun. Pokes. Love, love and only love, was being spread out everywhere. I could sense a small tear rolling out of my left eye. My tear of joy! A few foreigners were also peering at the drama that was going on over there. Some of them were even clicking the photographs. Some of them were making faces at the drama that was going on over there.

Sometimes I wonder, in this world where people are dying to get love and dearness, why are people commanded more by emotions like hatred and detest? Why terrorism is there? Spreading love is the most easiest task one could do, because to do that, one doesn’t need to apply his mind. As I boarded the Aero Express to Banjara Hills from Airport, I felt sudden sheer silence pinching in my heart. I also wanted to be loved. At the same time, I also wanted to love. Reciprocating the same emotion is not at all difficult for a person who holds importance in one’s life. Spread love! Spread happiness!

This is not a sentimental post. This was just that I missed something very badly. Surely, there can’t be any better thing than the Homecoming! Shall there be people waiting for me, at my homecoming? I don't know! I don't wanna know! Staying happy is all that I can do.

Btw, the old title is back. This time more determined not to go back. I hope it never goes this time. A lot of effort has been put up. I'd love to be found, then to be lost. :-)